Our New Blog - Why Are We Writing It?

When my wife and I were married a little over three-and-a-half years ago we did everything we could to go into our marriage with our eyes wide open. We went to counseling when we dated to work through past issues, we had pre-marital counseling with our pastor and his wife, we read a handful of books, and we went on an Engagement Matters retreat with Paul and Virginia Friesen. We went in expecting it to be hard and ready to work, but yet months into our marriage we felt everything we had done had not prepared us for what we encountered in our first couple years of marriage. Why, despite all our efforts, did we feel so in the dark about what was happening?

As we have talked to numerous other couples who were beginning marriage we quickly found that we were not alone in our feelings. Marriage counseling, books, and retreats were leaving other couples our age feeling the same way: unprepared and scared that the issues they were facing were unique to them. What is it about our generation that what has worked in the past seems to now be coming up short?

Welcome to postmodernism…

Our culture is shifting and changing and young people are now tackling the world, and marriage, from a different perspective. Despite this fact, so many resources are failing to take this into account. Where formulas, well thought out logic, and regurgitating the right answers once sufficed; the desire to experience marriage with others and learn from one another’s stories has taken their place. The element of being politically correct and avoiding certain topics when in company of others that was so prevalent with our parents is now the complete opposite of what more and more young couples actually need. This blog is our response to this need...

Our desire is that through very honest and transparent stories from our own marriage and relationship, we want to provide a glimpse of our journey through marriage and encourage other couples to join in on the conversation.

Holy Crap: Discussions About Real Marriage is not about getting the answers to all your marital problems but about being honest, open and real about life and marriage. Most of all, it is about providing hope to couples that marriage can be quite crappy for everyone at times but if you are willing to put the work in and be patient, you can experience all the blessings of marriage that make it so holy at the same time.

We'll have some new content coming soon. I hope you will join us in the discussion about marriage!

Talk to you soon,

Jake and Melissa